Talking to Your Child About Caste in India #DueNormal

We are not saying this is easy. But it is. What is more important is that it’s way past due. An Indian child cannot be truly empathetic & sensitive until they learn to be conscious about caste.

And this is how you can go about it:

Why should I talk to my children about caste?

1. Children’s perception of caste is shaped by the families they are born into thus making it primarily a family mandate. 

2. It is not just about a talk. It goes deeper. It is about the values that you as a family cherish. It’s about practice – things that you need to do & things that you shouldn’t. It’s about creating a culture in your household that acknowledges the issues around caste and is sensitive and empathetic to those issues.

3. Your children will grow up into communities that are more diverse than the ones that you currently occupy. Right now it’s all a bit homogenous but that status quo is fast changing. Your children should be able to appreciate and participate in this upcoming diversity without being alienated by it. This can only happen if they are sensitive to caste.

4. We are entering a world where both man-made and natural emergencies are not uncommon. One aspect that seems to flares up during times of distress is hate speech and misinformation designed to inflame existing differences in society- playing religions, castes, language and other identities against each other. The only way in which you can ensure that your child neither falls prey nor participates in any kind of engineered hate is by building their understanding, sensitivity and empathy.

Isn’t that the future you want for them?

Before we proceed – What is Caste?

‘Caste’ in India is a categorization of people that is primarily based on the kind of labor that are engaged in, which is made narrow & rigid through cultural norms that mandates (or at the very least disproportionately favors) strict hierarchies & inherited status, marriages within the same caste and social exclusion based on notions of purity & pollution.

There are 4 castes within the system – the Brahmins (who worked primarily as priests), the Kshatriyas (who were rulers, administrators and soldiers), the Vaishyas (artisans, merchants, tradesmen and farmers), and the Shudras (labouring classes). This system entirely leaves out communities who were deemed ‘untouchable’ and also the tribals. Each caste contains various sub-castes.

Does the Caste System Still Exist?

Yes. A very simple way to find it is in the matrimonial section of any newspaper which is divided in caste-based columns. Even in the cities, caste has not disappeared, it has only become harder to keep track off. The temple sanctums are still the domain of the Brahmins and those who clean the city sewers continue to belong to Dalit communities.

But surely the Practice of ‘Untouchability’ has disappeared from our Society?

It continues to exist. We have just stopped calling it out and normalized it by placing it under other concerns. Many households keep a separate set of utensils for maids. They call it ‘hygiene’ but clearly the proof of hygiene is in the washing and not in segregation.

Consider a ‘Subway’ counter in any mall in India. There is a clearly demarcated vegetarian section (higher castes are largely vegetarian), then there is the cashier and then followed by the non-vegetarian section. This extremely segregated structure is unlike anywhere in the world and finds it origin in practices of ‘untouchability’ and ‘social nausea’ that higher castes experience when in the presence of culture & food of other castes.

Also as discussed above, labour is a foundational factor in caste and one is hard pressed to argue that ‘dignity of labor’ is a concept that is widespread in India.

If you have had any of the above questions, chances are high that you belong to a higher caste. For someone who belongs to a marginalized caste, these are real aspects & indignities that they continue to negotiate in their everyday life.

Is Caste just found in Hindu Religion?

Caste is clearly mentioned in Hindu religious texts (like Manusmriti) but it has creeped into becoming integral part of Indian society. So while laws & policies continue to insist that caste is a feature of only Hinduism & Buddhism, caste segregation is very much a part of the manner in which Christianity, Sikhism & Islam are practiced in India.

So how can I start talking about Caste with my children?

1. Stories & Storytelling:

In the pantheon of heroes and treasuries of stories, representation of Dalits & other marginalized castes & tribals leaves much to be desired but the situation is fast changing for the better. The conscious parent can always make aware choices and ensure that the stories & narratives consumed by their children are diverse and empathetic.

Once upon a time a thirsty boy stood in front of vessel full of water that he was not allowed to touch.

The life & teachings of Babasaheb Dr. B.R. Ambedkar, the Father of the Indian Constitution & a dalit, has served as a medium & material for communities belonging to marginalized castes to learn about and articulate their own lives and struggles. There is suitable material available for various age groups in a variety of languages and medium. A lot of which is free of copyright.

Babasaheb’s predecessors in the caste movement, Savitribai & Jotirao Phule have also lived examined and documented lives that can inspire and invigorate any child. By giving your child exposure to their stories & teachings, you are not sensitizing them to caste but introducing them to a host of progressive values around gender equality, critical thinking, value of education among others.

If you are introducing children to mythology, remember to also introduce them to folk tales & tribal myths from across the country. And stories are not just found in the past. There are hiphop stars like Sumit Samos & Arivu.  Artists like Durgabai Vyam. Comic writers like Sumit Kumar. Films directors like Pa. Ranjit & Neeraj Ghaywan. Writers like Yashica Dutt. Sportspeople like Hima Das.

These are stories that your children should know & people who have achieved excellence that they should be proud of  and want to emulate.

(Also check Dalit History Month)

2. Learning about The Skill & Knowledge Behind Labor:

Adivasis are responsible for the origins of India’s food culture that we are so proud of today. They have made significant contributions to the science of Ayurveda. They possess the knowledge of how to live sustainably with nature something that the rest of the world is just figuring out.

Similarly, India has a great & continuing tradition of pottery, leather work, farming and weaving. The science, technology and know-how that go into the profession is on par with that possessed by engineers and the like, if not more. And this knowledge does not lie with the higher castes but rather with the laboring masses. While children are learning about the types of work and skill, this is something that they should be made aware and feel a sense of pride in.

Kancha Iliah’s children’s book ‘Turning the Pot, Tilling the Land’ is a great introduction to this aspect.

So How do I Build a Culture in my Household That is Sensitive to People Belonging to All Castes.

1. Do Not Enforce Notions of Purity: Segregated utensils for maids, avoiding physical contact with laboring masses, insisting on separate kitchens/utensils for vegetarian and non-vegetarian food may not be about hygiene and safety even though you may think so. Be aware of the phenomenon of ‘social nausea’ that afflicts higher caste people when they encounter the aspects of culture of other castes.  Do not pass this on to your children.

2. Use the Right Language: ‘Chamar’, ‘Bhangi’, ‘Dhobi’, ‘Harijan’… these are casteist slurs & caricatures that should never be used by higher caste people either seriously or jokingly because historically they have been used in a manner that was demeaning. Never use them in your house and actively dissuade your children from using them. Tell them why it is hurtful & wrong.

3. Talk about Historical Wrongs: Religious families do teach religion to their children in great or small measure. Talking about aspects of caste and how it intersects with religion is a healthy conversation. Why did Ambedkar turn away from Hinduism or why did Eklavya have to cut off his finger are some entry points into talking caste along with religion.

4. Celebrate the Historical Rights: India has a tradition where religions show solidarity during festivals. Similarly there are national occasions for caste solidarity like Ambedkar Jayanti or Worker’s Day. Celebrate them with your family.

5. About Caste Pride: Some amount of pride in your community especially if you belong to a marginalized one is affirming and even necessary to shape, preserve and assert one’s identity. But one must be vary that the caste pride does not turn overbearing and toxic especially at the cost of antagonizing & alienating other communities. It goes without saying that higher castes who because of their sheer position in social power dynamics need to be the most watchful of tipping excessively into caste pride.

6. Entitlement: For the ‘twice borns’ (higher castes), Caste signifies a certain entitlement to a particular status. This feeling of entitlement may mean that they take for granted access and possession of spaces and even bodies. And if they are denied this access, they feel alienated and they tend to retaliate and bully and abuse. It is necessary that higher caste parents are conscious of this and tell the child that while they are indeed special and deserving of the best in the world, they are not more special or deserving than others around them.

7. Reacting to Intercaste Love: It is when their children get into intercaste relationships that even the most liberal parents regress to a violent orthodox mentality. You are never more a risk to your child than if your child is in an intercaste relationship. Your notions of purity and bloodline will come to the fore & you may crack under social pressure of your community. But remember to not confuse your ideas of caste purity and endogamy with the ‘wellbeing of your child’ and do act progressively.

8. Safety: If you belong to a dalit community chances are higher that your child is at ease with the diversity & cosmopolitanism (food habits, religious practices etc) around you. But they may have a valid fear of prejudice, discrimination, aggression & violence from those around them who belong to higher castes. It is key that you encourage them to have a strong support system in the spaces and institutions they enter into.

Talk about Reservations & Merit

Reservations in education & government jobs have always been a contentious intercaste issue resulting in much bloodshed and lives lost. On one hand you have the continuing dalit & tribal struggle for access, empowerment and representation that is key to help them crossover from the beyond the margins where the caste system has confined them. And then you have the “twice born” castes complaining how reservations are denying them opportunities that are in line with their ‘merit’. Despite the fact that reservations for economically weaker sections of higher castes have been introduced, it remains a hotly contested issue and conversations are almost always toxic.

If you belong to a dalit or tribal family, you need to tell your child that reservations are their right – for all the historic suffering & oppressions & violence and for those that still continue. The government offers enough sops & subsidies to higher castes so when they claim that they are being cheated, they are not considering what they are already getting. Not to mention the fact that they are disregarding the whole of history.

Reservations are just the first step. Once you enter the institution, that’s when you will really need to call on your resilience to overcome the prejudice & the hatred. And by the time you make your way through, you will well & truly realize why reservations are part of your basic rights to life, livelihood & dignity. Because nobody else is going to hand that over to you. You have it to claim it for yourself and you can definitely use the very slight foothold that reservations provide.

If you belong to a higher caste family, tell your child that it is okay to make space. In fact it is progressive and sensitive of them to make space willingly. Be proud of your child if they do.

And as far as the merit argument goes – we have already seen in the dignity of labor sections that there’s merit to be found everywhere so who are we to deem what kind of merit is worthy. And why are there not more children belonging to the potter community who have a thriving career in design? It seems only fair that they do.

Affirmative Action

The best way for your child to understand diversity is to enable them to live and experience it. Friendship is very important in children’s life. Children should socialize with other children from all communities. And be taught how to respect the difference and diversity.

 Urban living spaces are pretty segregated so chances are that most children end up socializing with children of their own communities and castes and natural empathy and understanding that come out of key years of socialization are lost. So wherever the opportunity presents itself pop your child’s social bubble. Use public services like public transport and public parks. Waiting for and sharing that swing and slide in a public park is better than any lecture you can give your child. Food and cuisines are another great way of introducing your child to the culture of other castes. Volunteering with organization that are conscious of caste in the work that they do is another opportunity to open your children’s eyes to these aspects of Indian culture.

Thinking For Others & Making Space

No change is without tension. Those who have been oppressed must assert themselves. Those who have occupied spaces for long will find it difficult to move. But eventually something will have to give.

And with each subsequent generation in this country that negotiation has left a lot to be desired. Your child’s generation will soon be the new hope. We need to equip them to articulate and engage with the issue and not deny and invisibilize it. We need for them to understand the issue and not merely react to it. Most importantly we need to teach them to think not just for themselves and their good but for that of the others.

The Law

Discriminating and denying access to spaces and service on the basis of caste, using caste as a basis to exploit people, using casteist slurs and outraging modesty & dignity of people on account of their castes, caste violence against marginalized castes including sexual violence and abuse invite severe prosecution under the comprehensive SC/ST atrocity Act.

– Ashish Kumar P

(Ashish is a Dalit & a social activist from Hyderabad. He graduated from University of Hyderabad in Communications. He is also a film editor, and an independent documentary film-maker who has made two acclaimed documentary films documenting caste & labor in urban spaces. He has also spent many years working in film research, commercial feature films and in media and design related firms.)

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