7 Things to Do To Ensure Equal Distribution of Domestic Responsibility in The Household
The India Inequality Report 2020, released by Oxfam India in January, highlighted that the time spent on unpaid care work among women in urban areas is 312 minutes per day and 291 minutes daily in rural areas. Men correspondingly spend only 29 minutes (urban) and 32 minutes (rural) on the same.
There is a Gender Dimension to the lockdown because in most Indian families men (most men) do not share the household responsibilities equally.
Domestic Chores are a huge responsibility and could be a major pressure point in almost all families during the lockdown. If the load is usually on the woman, which it is in India there is bound to be tension in the house that might escalate into fights and toxicity.
Here is a quick list of 7 realistic & practical things to do to ensure there is a proper division of domestic responsibility in the household:
1. Make a To-Do List (Jointly)
In a house the ‘To Do’ list for things to be done in and around the house is usually a woman’s responsibility. During the lockdown ensure that the entire family is involved in making the ‘To Do’ list. This will help everyone get into a habit of sharing the responsibilities. You might have to write down the tasks initially till it becomes second nature to all family members. Make the list as specific as possible and cover everything that needs to be done in the house during the day e.g. putting the bag for milk on the door or going out and getting milk, putting the garbage bag outside the house, making breakfast, washing the clothes, drying the clothes etc. Ensure that the To-do list is divided equally among all members of the family – one person can fetch milk, another person can boil it, if person cooks the breakfast, someone else can do the dishes. Knowing what all needs to be done is the first step to ensure that all the family members are involved in helping out.
2. Plan your meals in advance & decide who is cooking
A lockdown is not a time when it can be ensured that everyone’s preferences are met while cooking. In most Indian households, different people have different tastes & preferences. While family members may insist on hot meals, freshly cooked every day., it is important to set expectations straight and bust the myth of the “hot cooked meal”. All meals may be planned at least a day or couple of days in advance. Cook smartly to ensure there is limited stress on the person who is cooking & also the reality of limited availability of essentials is taken into account while cooking.
Some important tips:
- Cook fewer items & cook items that require fewer ingredients
- Chop vegetables in advance and put it in the fridge to save time
- Avoid elaborate meals that are time consuming
- Use lentils that are easy to cook.
- Cook one pot meals that save time – Khichdi with vegetables, Pulav, Biriyani.
- Chutneys are great to be made, refrigerated and reused
- If you have other work during the week make sure you cook in advance and put it in the fridge. Leftovers can be eaten for 3 to 4 days
- Everyone washes their own plates, spoons, cups
Read more:
One Pot, One Shot: A cooking method that puts the South Indian love for the pressure cooker to use
3. Laundry:
Considering that everyone is at home and if people change atleast once during the day the amount of laundry might drastically increase during the lockdown. It is ideal that each member of the family washes his or her clothes during this period. Children can be involved in washing clothes since it is a fun activity for them. The responsibility of drying, folding, ironing & putting the clothes in the shelves must be equally divided among all family members. Take rotations in doing these chores.
4. Housekeeping:
Sweeping the house, mopping the floor, wiping the windows, changing the bed sheets make a schedule for the housekeeping activities & ensure everyone is involved. Do note that you need to be flexible with the housekeeping schedule – for instance you can decide on sweeping everyday, but mopping the floor only thrice a week.
5. Taking turns in Child Care :
Amidst the lockdown there are many couples who have to work from home & have toddlers or babies in the house with limited support. It is extremely important that the responsibility of caring for the child & positively engaging the child is on everyone in the household. Plan your work calendars in a way that the burden of child care is not on one partner.
For e.g. both partners should take turns in ensuring that the child is bathed and ready for the day. The responsibility of feeding the child, changing diapers etc. cannot be solely on the woman on the house.
6. Caring for the Elderly:
During the lockdown many of us would have called our parents over to our house, or moved in with our parents. It’s extremely important that the responsibility of caring for the elderly in the house is shared among partners.
7. Letting Go:
A lockdown is not a perfect time to ensure that you have the cleanest house or the most delicious meal. It is important to let go of some of the ways of living or doing things perfectly in a way that we think is right. There are women who feel uncomfortable if their grown up sons or husbands are brooming the house, or sometimes we just feel they don’t do it perfectly. It is important to let go of our preconceived notions about domestic responsibilities and men. It’s also okay if the house remains slightly messy or people in the house eat left overs. The most important thing is to ensure that everyone stays sane, with minimum conflict arising out of domestic work.
Some other articles:
Corona Lockdown: How Pune’s working couples are sharing household chores and making it fun
What the Covid-19 lockdown tells us about the gender gap in house-work?
Corona Virus Is a Disaster for Feminism
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